He’s actually not. I don’t even know what “Satan is my MotorCar” means. I just like that song and thought I’d rip it off for a blog post regarding musical therapy.
I do a lot of things to help ease the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. Cardio and strength exercise to combat fatigue, muscle weakness and the Copaxone weight gain. Yoga to combat the balance issues, muscle spasms and calm the mind. Supplements to help strengthen my brain. I eat a lot of Brussels Sprouts, Kale, berries, spinach and drink a lot of green and herbal tea. These things are all great. And while I have no idea if they really work or not, I do know that I am now 17 months since my last major exacerbation, so there’s that. Oh, and I do take Zoloft and Ativan for the anxiety and the overwhelming sense of sadness that creeps up every now and again. Side note: I like to believe that I truly am not overly sad. This is a wonderful life and I am so blessed. It’s just that MS can hijack your emotions. MS can make you feel so happy that you’re smiling to yourself like an idiot while standing in line at the grocery store. It can also make you laugh while watching someones wedding. Or cry because someone won on Wheel of Fortune.)
Regardless of how my body and mind feel, there is always one more element to me that could use a little help. A little more healing. That element is my soul. And as corny as it may sound, music is definitely the panacea. There’s people who love music and then there’s people who LOVE music. I LOVE it in a way where I can’t help but like the songs that I do. I can’t pick a genre that is my favorite. I can’t even pick an overall favorite song. I have favorite songs. Plural. And if I were to start naming them, this blog post would never be finished.
Saturday night, I was at the Blue October concert outside at Pinewood Bowl with Jeremy. The weather was overcast and 75 degrees, otherwise known as ideal weather for an MS’er. That venue is so beautiful. The acoustics are great. The people watching is priceless. At one point during the set, Jeremy looked over and said “this really is your favorite thing, isn’t it”. All I had to do to respond was smile. When I’m listening to music, especially live music, I am so happy that it almost hurts. I feel like my chest could explode because it’s so hard to hold all of that wonderful feeling in. And kind of like a really good vacation, that feeling of happiness sticks with me for a while. And when it wears off, I need to start looking for my next fix.